She Calls Me Mama ~ SM

Featured

Tags

, , ,

I board the shutters and hiss at the cold winds that taunt the night air
On hands and knees I check for threats of nightmares living under bed springs
I kiss warm cheeks and wish sweet sleeps even as my ghosts surround me waist deep

The dawn’s light races with my consciousness and records its daily loss
For my unconscious beat stays ripping through the balm of desired comas hours before lids even open
Unseeing, unfeeling, this is the hour for the gnats and locusts
Gnawing through fields of bounty meant to be stored up for the waking hours
Waking, ours is a cheerful routine of good mornings filled with smiles as I ask
how are you? Did you sleep well?
Her responses ricochet off the walls of my heart speeding up the flow of heat through my very soul
All because she calls me mama

It is f’right that she calls me mama
I strap her heart to mine in a close knit entangled web of poinsettias and roses playing games of love me not
Knotting my throat in wait for the perilous ending that will surely come. Not.
I am half woman half child, no I am quarter woman 3-quarter child, no …
I am one child sawn in 4 bits and thrown to cardinal points that should have pointed me in the right direction yet threw air bombs at me and engulfed me in a triangle that shattered my adult in a quest to catch broken pieces of my child
But she’s mine – whole and complete and utterly loved

~ SM

Photo credit – Jayesh Mehta, as seen on http://desdelarepublicadominicana.blogspot.com/2013/04/madre-batalla-contra-hienas-mas-de-una.html

Cold Hands ~ SM 

Featured

Tags

, , ,

When cold hands wave and stretch outward
Will you be there waiting on the other side?
Each time the story is told,
I hear the voices that beg me bold
They say you’ve got too much to do
That I have nothing to lose if I care less about you
Sometimes I believe, I accept what they say to be true
Then I remember, cold hands won’t wait
When it’s time they’ll lay me straight
Hold me blind to the tears and numb to the pain
My soul will loom, my breathe will stop
These things I know but what I don’t
Will I see your stainless face?

~ SM

Hats Of Many Colours ~ SM

Featured

Tags

, ,

Pink hat on
I dance through the fields chasing buttterflies flitting off trees
The wind lifts my pigtails and slaps my ears
My smile wide, spread gleefully across my cheeks

Blue hat on
“People won’t like this thing that you do
The world is small, I keep hearing about you.
Be sensible, be smart.
Quit wearing sleeves that display your heart”

Yellow hat on
“This is who you are
This is who you were meant to be
You can’t do this, it won’t speak well of us
We were born to cut with knives while saving lives”

Orange hat on
“We don’t know who you are
Shouldn’t you be milling with an upper crust squad?
Get out, you don’t fit in here”

Red hat on
“I can’t wait for you”
“I can’t love you as you are”
“I’m not sure about you”
“I can’t” “I won’t” “I tried” “I lied”.

Black hat on
There’s no one to catch you when you fall
Learn to fight beasts, snakes, dragons and more
Keep your battle gear on:
Helmet, check.
Breastplate, check.

White hat on
Let me speak
White hat on
Let me breathe
White hat on
Let me be

~SM

She

Tags

, , , , ,

She is she
She is he

She is the bough that catches a cradle rocked
Arms splayed and reaching, breaking falls from the highest mountain tops

She is the bridge over the Thames though never falling
Connecting, forgiving, carving paths over troubled waters from winter to spring

She is she
She is he

She is stars spread through blackest skies guiding lost travellers home
Eyes twinkling with the wisdom of known truths barely uttered loud

She sits on walls reaching high
And though she falls she never breaks, nor warrants the king’s mens galloping brigade

She is she
She is he

She builds spouts against tree trunks, hills and broken streets
What’s rain and shine to an eight limbed go-getter?

She leads her blind mice with no butchers knife in sight
Have you ever seen such a thing in your life as three winged mice?

She is she
and She is he

– SM

Wrote and read this at an earlier time for a friend’s mom’s birthday, taking inspiration from my own mother’s life and how she single-handedly raised my sister and me, and now we are both awesome mothers! 🙂

Happy Mother’s Day to all the woman making life worth living for the kids; striving each day to better themselves in any situation they find themselves. Happy Mother’s Day even to the single men raising children and playing dual roles, gradually changing the negative stereotypes around male parenting

Letter To My Daughter: Learning to love

Tags

, ,

Hey babe,

I’m not sure how this sounds, coming from your mama, but truthfully, being a mother for me means stretching beyond my usual boundaries of affection, intimacy, and (much harder for me) touch. 

Don’t get me wrong, I love you to death and back but I have never been a “touchy” person. So it’s still weird for me when you do random little things like scratch my legs for no reason, or hold my face in your hands like you’re about to share snippets of wisdom with me. I suppose that is what you are doing: teaching me to love without boundaries. 

So, thank you for running into my arms when you haven’t seen me in a while, unannounced hugs and sloppy kisses at all hours of the day and even for lengthy meal times where you’d rather bury your face in my lap than eat another piece of meat! (I wonder if you’ll grow up into a vegetarian.)

I’ll be taking me lessons with you very seriously!

XOXO

Me. 

Cross Journeys

Tags

, ,

Walking through these pages
These writs that tell a story fairly unknown
Cutting through time zones and high plains
Landing on firm soil, gazing up at blue skies
Searching high for confirmation that angels do fly

In my dreams while traversing the seas
They would swoop down low on coloured wings
Cradling the children that fell through the night
They would erase the weariness the pain and their plight
Seeking to restore life after a lunatic’s vaulted blight

In wakeful hours as I scroll through the screens
I realise my dreams materialise, just not as I fantasise
These angels they look eerily like me with their absent wings
Suddenly a path is carved out wildly divergent to what’s passed
And the chills from my travels are wiped out at last

~SM © 2017

A Feminist’s Plea ~ SM

Tags

, , ,

Why do you see me as strange
This thing you do, I do it too
Well, maybe not exactly as you
You see, my path has been different
We don’t wear the same size shoes
Or I’d ask you to step in mine
Feel the rhythm and take measured steps
And maybe recognise
That you and I
We’re two sides of the same coin
Our value is intertwined

So, don’t let them point fingers at me
And I’ll cover you with my law degrees
When you sit with chiefs on muted skins
Don’t let them think less of me
All because my tastes don’t smell of a hwentia seed
You and I, our joy is to clothe our babies’ backs
And as you carry yours on yours,
Judge me not for pushing a pram
Nor for choosing a line instead of a belt’s side
Stand with me, and I’ll stand with you
Together, our worth will soar
As all women’s were meant to.

~SM

Image source: The Washington Post

Raising The Bar ~ SM

Tags

, , , ,

When the goal seems further than you can see
When night drops its curtain at your window sill
When the crickets chirp in the distance signaling the silence all about
When you think it’s over
When you think it’s done

That’s when you start afresh with the sun on your mind
That’s when you light up candles, watch them wane through the night
That’s when you kick up two feet and lock both knees
That’s when you howl and scream through your teeth
That’s when you stand up and fight

And when you do you’ll find this truth
That it was inside you long before you knew you
Buried deep underneath years of tangled messy dreams
Yet still apt to burn hotter than the hells you’ve seen

It’s almost over, you must believe this to be true
Dig inside and it will seep through
And when it does don’t move the bar just yet
Take a minute to do a crazy dance first
Shout it out loud, “I’m reaching for my best”

Now, move it again.

~ SM

Rocket Ship ~ SM

Tags

, , , ,

The percussionist plays a tune on strings cut loose from a sinking line
Who said beats were intended to be even or same
Red hot streams curdle through pathways linked back to pounding sensations
Let him play a tune such as you’ve never heard, read or seen
And when he’s done, summon his gait, his pride rocked firmly between his thighs
Make him tell you no lies even as he rah-tah-tah-tas…
Splays his fingers inside your pride
Don’t hold back the bubble ripening inside
Burst forth
Like a rocket ship, leave nothing behind in your line of fire
No looking back
He’s already ash.

~SM

 

Image borrowed from Negrawithtumbau.com
She has an interesting post on sexuality linked here.

Lost girl ~ SM

Tags

, , ,

Sitting on the edge of day and last rays
She clings to the strings of her paper kite
Tighter in the nooks and crannies she kneels
Not quite loud but still she speaks

At night she counts the stars alight
Matching each twinkle to the shine in her eyes
Her heart is soothed when waves meet shore
No more counting, she quits keeping score.

~SM

Image (c) Heatherlee Chan