Dear G,
I have to be honest, I’m dreading us getting through your puberty! I would like to freeze time when you turn 9, then fast forward straight to 25! 🙂 I kid. 🙂
There’s something uniquely special about becoming a woman that I hope to be better able to explain when your time comes. Beyond the physiological changes (boobs, periods and hair all over the place!), you’ll have to work through emotional and attitudinal changes that will be very difficult to define and manage, based on what’s going on in your life. I’m almost 30 as I write this, and I still don’t have all the answers. During your toughest most challenging moments, I hope knowing that I had not clearly defined my womanhood at this point in my life will give you some relief.
So today, I feel I am ill-equipped to talk to you about what it means to be a woman. A lot of women believe they have the answers. Culture also has its definitions. Here in Ghana, our grandmothers seemed to give the “Obaapa” (good woman) seal of approval based on your skills in the kitchen (including ridiculous fetes like picking up a hot pot with your bare hands without flinching! Pot holder anybody?), and your ability to catch and keep a man (be submissive they say; don’t talk back, take whatever verbal or physical abuse he dishes out and keep it to yourself, lay out his clothes in the morning before he leaves and serve him a hot meal as soon as he returns….it goes on and on).
I don’t want to over simplify womanhood to you neither do I want to leave you lost in its sometimes labyrinth-like passage ways. Maybe we should agree to have a fluid definition for it. Something like “staying dynamic and not letting others put up yardsticks for us.” How does that sound? Very cliché I think. 🙂 I guess I’ll keep working on it.
The next 10 yrs will be very interesting for me. Anything new I learn or discover, any ideas that change, I will share with you and maybe they will help you through your own journey.
I’m glad I can give you this front row seat.
Angels On Guard
XOXO
Words Become Me 